Boys

And sometimes...........you have a huge house full of estrogen that you have to take a moment to photograph the testosterone.  Your handsome boys.  Your cutie hubby who is a saint (did I mention SAINT) for putting up with his wife, 6 teen girls, 1 preteen girl and 2 preschool girls and his handsome little man.  And Jude.  Who hand over his toys to his bossy sisters, puts up with their incessant demands to watch "Barbie Mermaidia" when really he is dying to watch "Cars".  I love them.

When nothing gets done and everything happens

And sometimes.......you set aside a WHOLE entire day and plan to just stay home, clean up and organize.  As in, no errands every 5 minutes, no shopping, no nothing.  Just stay home, keep the laundry movin, keep the little kids playin outside and just DO.  But naturally because you planned this out--it will never happen.  It starts out as planned.  You get up at 6:30, see the big kiddos off to school and get ready to tackle chores.  But THEN the vet calls.  (because a few days ago you ran over your 5 lb puppy with your minivan and miraculously he survived but is in surgery at the vet but now is refusing to eat).  So you load up the kids and spend an hour at the vet's office hand feeding Nickel.  And your phone rings every 3 minutes and people on the other line say things like "hi--I have another foster child for you--when can we come over??" And then just like that, you have 12 kids.   And then you attempt to do the dishes for like 3 seconds before Rowan is peeing on a beanbag chair and Jude has decided to finger paint the bathroom walls.  You do however, manage to get in a load of laundry before your phone rings and there is a kid on the other line saying "ummmm did you forget I only had a half day of school today?  Because I've been waiting for you..."  and then you manage to get lunch on the table and plan to vacuum the pool afterwards but naturally, that won't happen either.  And you attempt once again to clean something.  Clean anything--but it won't happen.  Because then someone will call out  "MOM--I think the cat is having babies on your bed!"  At the end of today, when the kids ask what's for dinner, you make scrambled eggs and tell the older ones that they are welcome to cook something from a box or a can and then you do this:
(and you need a fruity mommy drink)

St-ah-tin 'em Early!

And sometimes.......you realize that you literally have a dozen kids.  And that's a LOT of laundry!  Everyone always wants to know--"how do you do it?"  Well--here's the big secret.  We train em on the washer/ dryer before they're out of diapers.  See?  

Cry Baby Cry

And sometimes...........you "randomly" come across your kids secret Twitter accounts.  And you find out a WHOLE bunch of fun stuff.  That you really didn't want to know.  But its probably better that you do know.  So you can do what parents do best--intervene and meddle in the lives of your teenagers and piss them off even more.  And then  you yell at them, and ground them and tell them how grateful they should be to have you as their parents.  And then they tell you how much you suck, how they hate you and all you want to do is make their lives a living hell.  And you act totally un-phased as they remind you that they are now 18 and can do ANYTHING they want!  So you remind them that they are free to move out at any time.  And pay for their own apartments.  And car insurance.  And cell phone bill.  And point out that whatever apartment they rent will most likely not include the bi-monthly cleaning lady, the backyard pool, Netflix and cable.  But they think they know everything.  Don't they?  So you act all tough and call them on their little moving out bluff  (because really where is a jobless 18 year old senior in high school going to go?)  but really really you are reminded about this scenario playing out with your own 18 year old self.  And your parents.  Just 14 years ago.  Because sometimes in the fosterhood, you adopt kids that were born your freshman year of high school.  And you still don't know what the hell to do with them.  And it really sucks because you don't want to see them move out and screw up their lives but what are you gonna do?  Rowan is right.  Just hang your head in your hands and cry.  And hope they come around.  (oh and call your mom and apologize for all the crap you put her thru when you were 18 and knew it all)

The When we Met Our Kids Post

And sometimes..........you adopt your kids so you don't have any of those cutsie delivery room pictures that everyone else has.  Instead you have these......

This was totally after we adopted Banana Raine Cloud but I like it--because I had just quit my job and I have that "new mom" look about me.  Ya know--dirty jeans, icky T-shirt first day of school mommy look.  And Boo-fannah looks so cute.  All ready for 3rd grade.  (yeah yeah she was 7 when we met her but I can't find those pics!!)

And I love this.  Because it says "your my mom" to me.  (Bannah is such a good hugger) And that is the best feeling ever.  Even if its in your driveway and not a delivery room.  

And if this doesn't say "I love my Daddy'  then I don't know what does....totally meant to be.  And better than any delivery room pic I ever saw.  

Oh and Jen.  Jen, Jen Jen.  Yeah not quite sure what was goin on here......but we do a lot of hangin out on our front porch........this was a few weeks after we met Jen.  Apparently there was some "mommy daughter" bonding goin on here in the form of hair ratting............and hair ratting is an amazing bonding experience, right?  Yup--it is.  Apparently. 

And then Jen was sniffing my hair or something......yeah again not really sure what's goin  on here.....but one of my first pics with my now oldest daughter...

ohhhhh Rowan Winter Skye!  I got smart this time and had my friend take pictures in the very moment I met you because I KNEW you were my daughter.  Knew it knew it knew it!  You were just 9 months here and I was the hugest baby dummy ever ( you are only 9 months old and I was thinking you might walk here......)  but knew in this moment that you were our daughter.  (even though we just got you for the weekend and then didn't see you again for 4 more months--more on that later)  click click click went the camera in our foyer as you entered our family.  

And Daddy came home from work early to meet you and you LOVED him.  (and his goatee)  

Oh and True and Jude----we snapped this pic as you came in our front door.  We had that feeling you were ours and wanted to snap pics that moment we met you!

The moment I met you--I loved you.  Literally.  This is our foyer.  You hadn't even made it 3 feet past our front door and I knew you were ours.  And loved you.  Tons.  

The first OFFICIAL "hi we've legally adopted all of you" picture.  Love you.  Love you.  Love you.  

Falling cigarettes and the dumb ass bunny

And sometimes..........  lit cigarettes fall out of the sky.  Yes, its true.  In fact, not only do they fall right out of the sky, but they are actually lit.  And they fall RIGHT into the window wells of teenage girls.  And believe it or not, the falling ash actually wakes them up so they all run to the window well to see what the noise is.  Or so they tell you.  Because its completely out of the realm of possibility that said teenagers have a cigarette in the window well and are smoking it after they think you're in bed.  (but really really you can totally see if the burning red ember from your bedroom balcony so you run down and snatch it before the next person can come up to the window and smoke it).  And sneak down the stairs to find a bazillion teenagers huddled around the window wondering where it went.  (this is when you hear the story of the falling cigarette and the noisy falling ash that woke everyone up)  And everyone is busy spraying themselves with the perfume you bought them for Easter.  And chewing the gum you also bought them for Easter.  And then suddenly it hits you.   Not only do lit cigarettes fall out of the sky into your kids bedroom windows, but the Easter bunny wasn't thinking clearly when he did this years baskets. Yup--sometimes in foster care.......the dumb ass Easter bunny brings cigarette cover up in the form of perfume and peppermint gum.  Guess he learned his lesson.

Pants on Fire

And sometimes.......you totally lie to your kids.  Like when really its True Summer's birthday.  But you tell her that TOMORROW is her birthday because Daddy has to teach at the university tonight and he won't be home until 10.  And he really wants to see her get her new Barbie bike.  And  even though True Summer is FIVE BIG WHOLE YEARS OLD, she really doesn't understand the difference between her actual birthday and the day we have the party.  Soooo you TOTALLY LIE TO YOUR DAUGHTER.  and tell her that she turns 5 big whole years old on Thursday instead of Wed so Daddy can be home.  Bad mommy.  I know.  But it's all good intentions, right?  RIGHT?  And we'll be honest with her when she's 17.  Or maybe 25.  We'll see.  So happy secret birthday my little True Summer!  Really its today.....but because you get a party and a new bike tomorrow, its doesnt matter, right?  I'll explain this all when you're older.  Love, Mommy